I’ve read the bible from cover to cover.
What else has cover to cover written?
One Liners :lol:
Started by
Nelly Vx
, Oct 09 2012 10:02 PM
748 replies to this topic
#701
casino
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- 5,100 posts
VerStrapOn lost the ‘21 drivers championship
- Gender:Male
- Location:Casino’s Drinking Den
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Interests:ADVERTISING. F1
Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.
Posted 20 November 2021 - 08:23 PM
#702
casino
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- 5,100 posts
VerStrapOn lost the ‘21 drivers championship
- Gender:Male
- Location:Casino’s Drinking Den
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Interests:ADVERTISING. F1
Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.
Posted 20 November 2021 - 08:32 PM
An Englishman a Scotsman and John Thorn went to a pub. The Englishman the Scotsman and the pub legged it when they saw JT parking.
#703
hairy
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- 6,226 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 28 November 2021 - 05:12 PM
I got home tonight and found all of my doors and windows wide open and all of my stuff taken 
! Now I've got to go out and buy another advent calendar.
#704
hairy
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- 6,226 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 16 December 2021 - 05:57 PM
I came home early today - my wife has lost her voice and I didn't want to miss it.
#705
hairy
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- 6,226 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 18 December 2021 - 05:37 PM
If anyone knows of someone who will be spending Christmas alone, please ask them to get in touch with me - I desperately need to borrow some chairs.
#706
casino
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- 5,100 posts
VerStrapOn lost the ‘21 drivers championship
- Gender:Male
- Location:Casino’s Drinking Den
-
Interests:ADVERTISING. F1
Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.
Posted 22 December 2021 - 05:19 PM
Have you heard the joke about the migrant who swam the Channel twice?
#707
casino
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- 5,100 posts
VerStrapOn lost the ‘21 drivers championship
- Gender:Male
- Location:Casino’s Drinking Den
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Interests:ADVERTISING. F1
Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.
Posted 22 December 2021 - 05:28 PM
My wife’s cooking this Christmas. Two hours on gas mark 6 should be enough.
#708
casino
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- 5,100 posts
VerStrapOn lost the ‘21 drivers championship
- Gender:Male
- Location:Casino’s Drinking Den
-
Interests:ADVERTISING. F1
Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.
Posted 23 December 2021 - 08:09 PM
My old mum has finally had both hips done. Hip hip hurrah.
#709
casino
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- 5,100 posts
VerStrapOn lost the ‘21 drivers championship
- Gender:Male
- Location:Casino’s Drinking Den
-
Interests:ADVERTISING. F1
Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.
Posted 23 December 2021 - 09:21 PM
My VX overheated last year.
#710
hairy
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- 6,226 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 24 December 2021 - 01:12 PM
Have you been on that Leffe Casino?
#711
casino
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- 5,100 posts
VerStrapOn lost the ‘21 drivers championship
- Gender:Male
- Location:Casino’s Drinking Den
-
Interests:ADVERTISING. F1
Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.
Posted 24 December 2021 - 05:16 PM
Have you been on that Leffe Casino?
Hi ho ho...Just the Red so far _____________🤗🤭
#712
hairy
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- 6,226 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 25 December 2021 - 09:28 AM
Have you been on that Leffe Casino?
Hi ho ho...Just the Red so far _____________🤗🤭
#713
hairy
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- 6,226 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 30 December 2021 - 12:46 PM
As a personal tribute to David Bowie, I've made a whole tin of Heroes last just for one day.
#714
hairy
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- 6,226 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 31 December 2021 - 06:04 PM
The Romans had 4 kinds of poisons, poisons 1, 2, and 3 killed you, poison 4 just made you itchy.
#715
hairy
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- 6,226 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 03 January 2022 - 04:35 PM
I’ve just taken back a jumper I got for Christmas as it kept accumulating static electricity and shocking me ... they’ve exchanged it for another free of charge.
#716
oblomov
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- 3,815 posts
Scary Internerd
- Gender:Male
- Location:Sitting in front of my computer
- Interests:None
Posted 03 January 2022 - 07:41 PM
I caught a burglar in my house last night. I said "What are you looking for." He said "Money", I said "Hang on a minute I'll get a torch and give you a hand."
If you can't think of a word just say "I can't remember the English word for it," Then people think you're bilingual."
It's getting to the stage where errands are counted as going out.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older - this is not what I expected.
It's probably my age that fools people in to thinking I'm an adult.
#717
hairy
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- 6,226 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 08 January 2022 - 11:42 AM
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick ... especially as his name is Simon
#718
hairy
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- 6,226 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 09 January 2022 - 05:15 PM
I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K 256K, 512K and 1MB ... it was a trip down memory lane.
#719
hairy
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- 6,226 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 11 January 2022 - 05:29 PM
The wife and I had sex for three hours last night! We role-played as doctor and patient ... I was in the waiting room for two hours and 58 minutes.
#720
hairy
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- 6,226 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 17 January 2022 - 08:56 PM
My mate has got a date with a girl who makes wheelie bins for a living, only he's not sure what day he's supposed to take her out.
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