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#701 casino

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    VerStrapOn lost the ‘21 drivers championship

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    Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.

Posted 20 November 2021 - 08:23 PM

I’ve read the bible from cover to cover.  
What else has cover to cover written?



#702 casino

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    VerStrapOn lost the ‘21 drivers championship

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    Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.

Posted 20 November 2021 - 08:32 PM

An Englishman a Scotsman and John Thorn went to a pub. The Englishman the Scotsman and the pub legged it when they saw JT parking. 



#703 hairy

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Posted 28 November 2021 - 05:12 PM

I got home tonight and found all of my doors and windows wide open and all of my stuff taken :o ! Now I've got to go out and buy another advent calendar.



#704 hairy

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Posted 16 December 2021 - 05:57 PM

I came home early today - my wife has lost her voice and I didn't want to miss it.



#705 hairy

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Posted 18 December 2021 - 05:37 PM

If anyone knows of someone who will be spending Christmas alone, please ask them to get in touch with me - I desperately need to borrow some chairs.



#706 casino

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    VerStrapOn lost the ‘21 drivers championship

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    Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.

Posted 22 December 2021 - 05:19 PM

Have you heard the joke about the migrant who swam the Channel twice? 



#707 casino

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    VerStrapOn lost the ‘21 drivers championship

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  • 5,100 posts
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  • Interests:ADVERTISING. F1
    Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.

Posted 22 December 2021 - 05:28 PM

My wife’s cooking this Christmas. Two hours on gas mark 6 should be enough. 



#708 casino

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    VerStrapOn lost the ‘21 drivers championship

  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,100 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Casino’s Drinking Den
  • Interests:ADVERTISING. F1
    Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.

Posted 23 December 2021 - 08:09 PM

My old mum has finally had both hips done. Hip hip hurrah. 



#709 casino

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    VerStrapOn lost the ‘21 drivers championship

  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,100 posts
  • Gender:Male
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  • Interests:ADVERTISING. F1
    Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.

Posted 23 December 2021 - 09:21 PM

My VX overheated last year. 



#710 hairy

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Posted 24 December 2021 - 01:12 PM

Have you been on that Leffe Casino?



#711 casino

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    VerStrapOn lost the ‘21 drivers championship

  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,100 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Casino’s Drinking Den
  • Interests:ADVERTISING. F1
    Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.

Posted 24 December 2021 - 05:16 PM

Have you been on that Leffe Casino?

Hi ho ho...Just the Red so far _____________🤗🤭



#712 hairy

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Posted 25 December 2021 - 09:28 AM

 

Have you been on that Leffe Casino?

Hi ho ho...Just the Red so far _____________🤗🤭

 

 


chinky chinky chinky chinky chinky chinky chinky chinky chinky chinky chinky chinky chinky chinky



#713 hairy

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Posted 30 December 2021 - 12:46 PM

As a personal tribute to David Bowie, I've made a whole tin of Heroes last just for one day.



#714 hairy

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Posted 31 December 2021 - 06:04 PM

The Romans had 4 kinds of poisons, poisons 1, 2, and 3 killed you, poison 4 just made you itchy.



#715 hairy

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Posted 03 January 2022 - 04:35 PM

I’ve just taken back a jumper I got for Christmas as it kept accumulating static electricity and shocking me ... they’ve exchanged it for another free of charge.



#716 oblomov

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Posted 03 January 2022 - 07:41 PM

I caught a burglar in my house last night.  I said "What are you looking for."  He said "Money",  I said "Hang on a minute I'll get a torch and give you a hand."

 

If you can't think of a word just say "I  can't remember the English word for it," Then people think you're bilingual."

 

It's getting to the stage where errands are counted as going out.

 

When I was a kid I wanted to be older - this is not what I expected.

 

It's probably my age that fools people in to thinking I'm an adult.



#717 hairy

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Posted 08 January 2022 - 11:42 AM

My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick ... especially as his name is Simon



#718 hairy

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Posted 09 January 2022 - 05:15 PM

I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K 256K, 512K and 1MB ... it was a trip down memory lane.



#719 hairy

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Posted 11 January 2022 - 05:29 PM

The wife and I had sex for three hours last night! We role-played as doctor and patient ... I was in the waiting room for two hours and 58 minutes.



#720 hairy

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Posted 17 January 2022 - 08:56 PM

My mate has got a date with a girl who makes wheelie bins for a living, only he's not sure what day he's supposed to take her out.






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