Jump to content


Vx Thesaurus/dictionary

  • Please log in to reply
24 replies to this topic

#1 tickious



  • Pip
  • 166 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:wiltshire

Posted 20 May 2009 - 09:12 PM

Can we play an abbreviation game? As yellow or black will testify I’m still learning regular English, so when I come on here I only understand half of what’s going on, because of all the abbreviations or just general bits that I don’t understand. My idea is if someone like me doesn’t understand a bit of terminology, they can put it on here once, and it can be explained once, that way this post will be added to by the knowledgeable gang to help us newuns, until eventually we’ll have a full very useful VX thesaurus/dictionary thing in one place to be used as a handy guide. I’ll start the ball rolling. 1144 and 1155 are unrated brake pads Q. Who and where are CLCM? Please Play!

#2 Yellow_or_black?



  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,905 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:.

Posted 20 May 2009 - 09:23 PM

:lol: Good idea thumbsup Although a lot of the time Google is your friend, as it is with CLCM - apart from the fact the posters' location gives the game away (skirt-wearing northerners with silly accents...). Worth adding that 1144 and 1155 are Mintex (and are uprated as opposed to unrated :P )

#3 Yellow_or_black?



  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,905 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:.

Posted 20 May 2009 - 09:42 PM

First Google result (and the others underneath it) if you type in CLCM...

#4 tickious



  • Pip
  • 166 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:wiltshire

Posted 21 May 2009 - 05:32 AM

Can we play an abbreviation game? As yellow or black will testify I’m still learning regular English, so when I come on here I only understand half of what’s going on, because of all the abbreviations or just general bits that I don’t understand.
My idea is if someone like me doesn’t understand a bit of terminology, they can put it on here once, and it can be explained once, that way this post will be added to by the knowledgeable gang to help us newuns, until eventually we’ll have a full very useful VX thesaurus/dictionary thing in one place to be used as a handy guide.

I’ll start the ball rolling.

Mintex 1144 and 1155 are uPrated brake pads

CLCM -= CLCM Tyre Services Ltd

Please Play!

Thanks again YorB :blush:

#5 Mangham54



  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,034 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Baaaaarrrrnnnnssssllleeeeyyyy

Posted 21 May 2009 - 06:34 AM

Nice idea, am a fellow newbie and this would (and still might) actually have been a bonus for me. One for the dictionary: ARB - Anti Roll Bar though you will probably know that one already

#6 TangoAlpha


    Mellita, domi adsum

  • 6,885 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:West Berkshire
  • Interests:Motorsport, Computers, American football, Photography

Posted 21 May 2009 - 07:43 AM

TADTS = They All Do That Sir SMIDSY = Sorry Mate I Didn't See You

#7 Pooh Bear

Pooh Bear

    Need to get Out More

  • PipPipPipPip
  • 986 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:The Hundred Acre Wood
  • Interests:Honey

Posted 21 May 2009 - 08:14 AM

Whats the one for 'this thread is useless without pictures'? ? :unsure: Can never remember it.... :tumble: If think I called it TITIWOP once when emailing YoB which cracked her up :D

#8 Yellow_or_black?



  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,905 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:.

Posted 21 May 2009 - 08:19 AM

Men in kilts woargh :wub: TTINWP! (touche :P ) Oh - TTINWP = This Thread Is Nothing Without Pictures!

#9 Mike (Cliffie)

Mike (Cliffie)

    Back in a VX

  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,353 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Surrey
  • Interests:Weaving weasels woolly hats.

Posted 21 May 2009 - 08:29 AM

WTF-What The F**K (the bit left over after you bolt the car back together) IFIU-I F**ked it up (the reason you have a WTF moment) FIIK-F***ed If I Know (what you say when asked where the WTF shoul go) SFM-S*** F*** Moment (descriptive term for a tank slapper)

#10 Craig S

Craig S


  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,787 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Stirling, Scotland
  • Interests:Finding uses for heavy duty velcro :)

Posted 21 May 2009 - 08:40 AM

SWMBO = She who must be obeyed

#11 AliM


    insert humour here

  • 9,146 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Wirral
  • Interests:playing cars and general mischief.

Posted 21 May 2009 - 08:46 AM

SWMBO = She who must be obeyed

HWMOM = He who must obey me :P

#12 tickious



  • Pip
  • 166 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:wiltshire

Posted 21 May 2009 - 08:18 PM

ARB = Anti Roll Bar

CLCM = CLCM Tyre Services Ltd


FIIK-F***ed If I Know (what you say when asked where the WTF should go)


MINTEX 1144 and 1155 are up rated brake pads
HWMOM = He who must obey me

IFIU-I F**ked it up (the reason you have a WTF moment)


MILTEX 1144 & 1155 are up rated brake pads



SFM-S*** F*** Moment (descriptive term for a tank slapper)

SMIDSY = Sorry Mate I Didn't See You

SWMBO = She who must be obeyed

TADTS = They All Do That Sir



TTINWP = This Thread Is Nothing Without Pictures



WTF-What The F**K (the bit left over after you bolt the car back together)

Edited by tickious, 21 May 2009 - 08:59 PM.

#13 mandarinvx


    King of First Replies

  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,621 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:West Mids / Oxfordshire

Posted 23 May 2009 - 03:53 PM

Thread tidied (a lot :rolleyes: :lol:) and moved to the newbies section thumbsup

#14 tickious



  • Pip
  • 166 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:wiltshire

Posted 14 June 2009 - 02:35 PM

Thesaurus/VX’isms, June 2009 edition

(Font of all knowledge) started by the “VX Hall Of Famer” DW1 Imnotworthy

Thought I’d do a compilation for the newbies

Pot Hole Shock – (novice) the emotion all new owners experience when hearing the ‘loud clang’ going over their first pot hole. This is usually followed by Chassis Panic.

Chassis Panic – the wide eyed ‘has my car fallen apart, is it ok?’ sense of panic whist under the influence of Pot Hole Shock.

Pot Hole Slalom – the sometimes sudden and violent swerving motion a driver makes to avoid hitting a pot hole. A regular practice by all VX owners and probably a little unnerving for anyone following as it looks like we’re pissed. It also brings a smile to the face due to the cornering sensations. Only applies to people who have experienced Pot Hole Shock or sufferers of Chassis Panic.

VX Grin – the slightly manic grin created by the use of right foot and arms whilst sat in a moving VX.

Spring Ping – the sudden noise when your clutch spring decides to go pop, can induce a bout of Chassis Panic until cause is located.

The 20 Minute Milk Shake – what happens to your tub of ice cream on the way back from the supermarket.

Boot Tetris – the rotational game of fitting a significant heap of different shaped objects into a confined space, you don’t need an xbox just a vxboot.

Side mouth Exhale – the sideways, pursed lips breathing done in winter to prevent the windscreen misting up

Stocking Fetish – the hosiery fetish developed after a dose of Cabin Wasp

Cabin Wasp – when a wasp or fly suddenly appears through your vent. A likely ailment for those not suffering from Stocking Fetish.

Cottage Cheese – the primary ingredient of VX paint.

Cadbury’s Flake – the other main ingredient in VX paint, applied by Vauxhall particularly around the front bumper and bonnet region.

Heater Blues – the realisation that it’s as good as it gets with your heater. It’s also called the blues because this is the colour you turn in the middle of winter.

Boot lid Head – the flat spot on the top of your head got from using it as a boot lid prop instead of the metal pole supplied.

Knob Rattle – the noise that directly precedes your knob (of any kind) falling off.

Toll Booth Tourettes – the outbreak of swearing brought on by trying to reach over and up to pay the toll booth person, made worse on the continent.

Door Slam Wince – owners facial expression brought on by a passenger unaware of Cadbury’s Flake and Cottage Cheese.

Owners Wave – the involuntary arm movement caused by the rare sight of another VX.

Seat Gobbler – the ability of your seat to eat just about anything small in it’s vicinity. Give up retrieval or risk getting Under seat Hand

Under seat Hand – your bruised and battered hands are the tell tale sign that you lost your latest CD to the Seat Gobbler.

Wiper Numpty – pulling back your wiper when cleaning your car forgetting first to open the bonnet.

Dealer Dilemma – the fretting over which dealer to use and whether they will write off your baby or scratch it up. Dealers are known to employ Wiper Numpties.

Forum Withdrawal – the feeling that your car will not survive if you are offline for longer than 3 days without the support of the forum.

Sheer Joy – the state of mind derived just by owning a VX220.

Weather Watching - constantly looking towards the sky from nearest window as you've left the roof off in the car park.

How Fast Does it Go - First question you always get asked from anyone - including police people.

The Hot Wash & Wax Club - Those select few people who have had their front radiator blow.

The Back Fold & Flop - Method of getting into the car with the roof on

Pressure Parping - Inadvertently beeping the horn when caneing it round a bend / roundabout.

The Lepton - an infinitely variable measure of forward travel whose value changes relative to mph so that it's never above the legal limit

Circle dancing - an unexpected event sometimes brought about by a heavy right foot at a roundabout

Granny driving - method of forward travel in the wet

Luke warmer - a device that blows air into the cabin by means of a fan.

shocking knocking - stark realisation you've joined the engine mount club, can be combined with chassis panic.

VX Stopping Lottery - The will it or wont it stopping aspect of the sensational VX220 ABS system, combined with brown trouser cloth pinching.

Winter Lockout - You can't get into your VX as the locks have frozen.

Wee Dilemma - The dilemma faced by VX owners when they have Winter Lockout and no nearby source of warm liquid.

Cooling Fan Lottery - A game usually played in stationery traffic where the driver waits for the magic number to appear and the fan to cut in

Half Audi Knee - The two ring pattern remniniscent of the Audi rings burnt into the knees of those who lean against the hot exhaust pipes whilst playing Boot Tetris

Forecourt Moment - The feeling of pride and joy when stepping out of a garage and seeing the VX parked between the rep-mobiles

Mod Fetish - The inability to leave anything standard on you VX

Dealer Phobia - The fear of all things Dealer related, normally quoted as "you took you car to them..."

Beer Boots - Those select few who have managed to explode beer cans in their boot

Car Park Arms - Always too short to reach the ticket machine in your local multi-story

WHAT, EH, PARDON - The rather stunted and vocal conversations that you can't really have with your passengers due to engine noise or having the roof off.

Diesel Phobia - The fear of wet tarmac which can result in Granny like driving or sudden painful interruptions in the VX experience

The Weggie - Otherwise known as "I'm Stuck Dear" being the usual cry from older passengers having forced their way into your VX.

The Gringe - The unsettling combination of a cringe and a manic grin as you approach a speed hump and hope your not too low.

Extra Sensory Perception - The art of being constantly on the lookout for the boy's in blue, and their scameras.

Drip Drip - The result of having failed to read the local weather patens correctly. In extreme cases this can result in the 'cup floweth over' see below

Cup Floweth Over - Sudden thunder storms and other freak weather filling your cup holder with rain water.

cup holder shoulder - Trying To use the cup holder while driving, results in shoulder damage.

soggy bottom - forgetting your essential towel when its raining.

filter frustration - that moment when replacing the air filter when you get your arm stuck under the rear clam and it seems the only way to get your arm free is to either dislocate it or start chewing it off at the bicep.

Supermarket shove - that moment when you realise that all the shopping you've bought won't fit in the boot until you cram all in and then shut the boot lid on it repeatedly until it shuts.

Toblerone Baguette - the interesting shape a French loaf takes after being subjected to "supermarket shove".

Parcel shelf roulette - attempting to grab anything of the shelf behind the seats whilst facing forward and driving at the same time. Invariably what your hand comes back with wasn't what you were looking for.

Right handed gear changing - inevitable in a right hand drive car after attempting parcel shelf roulette and actually getting your arm stuck in a novel albeit uncomfortable twisted position.

Feet in the air - alludes to position required to fit new clutch spring. Make sure to remove roof and do lots of stretching before attempting. Have mobile phone handy to call emergency services in case you get stuck.

halogen back - that back ache sensation you get after fitting a new headlamp bulb

halogen paralysis - that back ache sensation you get after fitting two new headlamp bulbs

insect illumination - the wonderful experience of having fitted new headlamp bulbs (and put the headlamps back in position) that you realise they only illuminate about 2cm in front of the car and need adjusting (again).

lotus position - the stern faced nose in the air position adopted by the majority of the lotus elise owners waved at by a VX owner.

number plate Houdini - when you drive over slightly uneven terrain and get out to find the front number plate has disappeared. Happened last night doing a three point turn in clumber park

Shrunk in the Wash - Trying to tell the boy's in blue that your number plate isn't 3/4 size it's standard

Part number tourettes - The sudden realisation that a new part will take months to arrive.

The Chelsea pensioner - The ungainly walk after a Trans-European drive.

The Limahl - The state of your hair after a spirited blast if you are over 6ft tall.

Speedline Envy - the look a non speedlined vx owner gives to a vx that has a set of speedlines fitted.

Negative Inability - The inability to say "No" to any modifications on offer from any of the VX specialists around the UK.

Forum Induced Paranoia - The feeling that just because everyone elses <insert name of VX part here> has broken yours must be on its way out too

Forum Followthrough - Naturally progressing from Forum Induced Paranoia when within 1-3 days of reading about a fault you check and notice it or it suddenly occurs

Colouritis* - The firm belief that the colour of your VX is better than all the rest.

Molar Wheel - that first big stopping moment after upgrading the brakes that invariably leaves teeth marks in the steering wheel

bumpy volume - the difficulty of trying to get exactly the right volume setting on the stereo whilst driving along a bumpy road.

VX ear - that moment when getting in a vx that you somehow slip and the door closes on the side of your head. No I still don't know how I did it either

The Hokey Cokey - the schoolboy error of stepping off the kerb to get in when there isn't enough room to twist your foot.

"Muscle Mark" - the 10p size bruise on the right bicep caused by pivoting the body out on the door lock bar.

Rev limiter: ......................wife

Door Pin Pocket - Ripping the back pocket off your trousers on the door pins when getting out in a tight space.

Pound Coin Shock - Similar to Pot Hole Shock, when a pound coin fall out of your pocket and sounds like the cars just been hit by a larger brick.

Headbanging - what the wife or GF does on the headrest when a VX accelerates without warning

Earful whinging - occurs after headbanging when wife/ GF 'tells' you about your acceleration

Ginster - Colloquial name for a VX (newbies won't understand this one)

Wiper rash - the effect on the windscreen after using the washers

FBI - flying by instruments - the method of following a vehicle when there is spray about

Hub capping - the normal view when at the side of most vehicles

Boot badging - similar to hub capping but when at the rear of a vehicle

Hunchback Ventilation - Awkward posture adopted on sweltering July days, resembling an ape hanging from the steering wheel, in an attempt to get your sweaty back away from the seat and simultaneously create a small breeze from sleeve to sleeve.

Panel Poke (also known as Fascia Fumble) - The involuntary action, usually performed several times per drive, to
try to reattach the silver dash panel which has come away from its double-sided tape. Never works.

Bunker Vision - Slit-like viewing aperture which results from either a total lack of demisting on cool days, or uneven wiper blade pressure on muddy days.

Environmental Exfoliation - The gradual and complete removal of the outer layer of your face by grit blasted out the vents and circulated by mysterious mini-cyclones in the cockpit.

Lotus Envy - Momentary hesitation every time our forum's resident Exige owners (and digital photographers) post their latest über-pictures.

public parking paranoia (or 3P1) - worrying condition in most (technically speaking grown-up) VX owners: the fear/concern for the fate of the beloved VX when parked in any public space. Needless to say that when travelling and staying overnight (especially with a VX that is "Invisible From the Hotel Window"), the condition can induce severe sleeplessness, gnawing of cushions, stomach cramps and relational stress. 3P2 (see below) can, for a very limited duration, relieve some of the pressure 3P1 induces, but only "the Driving of the VX" or storing said VX safely at home will completely remove it. CAUTION! 3P1 is not simultaniously stackable with any other of the aforementioned afflictions such as "chassis panic" or "pothole shock" or worse if mental integrity in the owner is to be somewhat maintained! -is related to "dealer paranoia"

pathological parking photography (3P2) - VX users suffering from 3P1 can find some rest in photographing all other cars in the VX's vicinity on the public parking space so that swift retribution can be forced from any defiler of the shrine that is the VX's integrity. This is done in a with a conviction beyond religion: at least 3 photographs per such vehicles need to be taken ritually while gobsmacked and unbelieving (non-VX) onlookers are barked at fiercely by the VX owner who is, mostly, frothing at the mouth by the prospect of another impending fit of 3P1.

banana board - yes, your dash is bowed at the edges.

whup - the phrase when slightly damp, the back end is feeling a little lighter than normal round that bend

nuckle bone- see also replacing VX battery

effuntee - yes your seat is worn on the drivers side.

when visiting your VX dealer... 'yeah I know' - 'They all do that Sir'

shoebox - see also boot

VS-She - a lady driver of a VX with a sports exhaust!

Corsa Soft Top - Colloquial name for the VX inspired by the enlightened views of a certain Vauxhall employee with vast experience of driving both the VX220 and the Vauxhall Corsa

Road works - the code used when speaking to the missus after returning from those surprisingly long trips to the local shop to get a bread and milk

The Jackson - the wearing of a solitary glove on the left hand a-la MJ to avoid getting aluminum frostbite

Aluminium Frostbite - a tingling and numbness of the hand caused by operation of the gear lever in winter

fob tickle - the sensation you get on your right thigh when driving a VX whilst wearing shorts

Yellow Peril - Condition affecting the coolant header tank.

Machine Gun Sphincter - Condition affecting the driver whenever the VX hits a bump during breaking, causing the ABS to prematurely cut in. The symptoms are your anal sphincter rapidly opening and closing in time with the cadence of the ABS, as you gracefully glide across a junction into traffic.

PMT (Post Machine gun Stress) - The aftermath and impact on yourself and of all other road users that witnessed the conditions that caused Machine Gun Sphincter. Normally preceeded by incredulity that you were unable to brake to a stop from such a low speed over such a long distance.

Shaky Braking - The feeling of intense fear and panic when the ABS kicks in and the braking force rapidy decreases. This term applies to both the car, driver and any passenger who is adept in knowing how a car is 'supposed' to stop.

The Forehead Salute - Driving topless in open sunlight when the "Seat Gobbler" has claimed the drivers sunglasses

Refill Roulette - Waiting to see how far you can go once the vague refill message appears

The black eye - waving to another vx owner whilst doing 60mph+ with the roof off, normally results in the wind catching the hand and forcefully smacking yourself in the face.

Hell no, hell yeah - normally occurs whilst following other vx'ers (Lazy & Jon) at numerous leptons around a ridiculously tight corner, first thoughts mid corner, 'sh!t, hell no.......!', normally followed by 'hell yeah ' as you come screaming out the other side of the corner going faster than when you went in.

Fly Eye - A fly rapidly hurtling out of the upper vents of VX owner without a "Stocking Fetish" which invariably heads for the drivers eye. Warning - causes temporary blindness!

Album Skipper (CD) - The facility of the "Next/Previous Track" button when used on a slightly uneven road surface. The resultant track being almost completely random however never the one you want.

Track Slipper (CD) - When you want to Fast Forward a mix and hit a pebble.

"Tagnut" - van/car driver that hangs off your ass on the motorway.

An Imran - ("Doing an Imran") Trying to pass off something of questionable history as a mint example. Also involves blatantly denying any problems even when faced with incontrovertible proof

'Here comes the aeroplane (fathers) OR Here comes my chopper " (bachelors) - 'The painful procedure of feeding your VX its life-giving petrol - Forcing it in drop by drop, hand contorted to hold the pump upside down, the cut-off activating if you squeeze any more than the length of a knats eyelash; usually followed by your beloved spitting it all back out again after a moments lost concentration.

'Starter Button/Cloaking Device - As soon as you press that little silver button no other drivers on the road can see you... Except other VX drivers, whose windshields are equipped with a VX anti-cloaking device, er, device

'VX'ers Ear' - Usually has blood pouring out of it after forgetting that the alarm was set, having just reached in through the open window to grab the mandatory kitchen towel (which has started smelling; see 'Has that always been like that?')

'Has that always been like that?' - A sight, sound or smell that turns your stomach with apprehension; has that always been like that? Usually accompanied by the missus telling you to stop fumbling under the dash trying to find that noise whilst driving down the motorway

'Smug git’ - Knowing all eyes are upon you as you stroll across the garage forecourt. (Refrain from giggling like a girl.)

"Tooms Fumble" - desperately trying to elongate your arm under the passenger seat to retreive your mobile/cd/coins/[insert other items of monetary or sentimental value

Spontaneous modification - The uncontrollable act of being overcome and suddenly 'going for it' at the garage, cue Wierdjam's post on 8th Jan 2008 It Only Went In For A Service......., ....came out with a stage 2

Modificationitis - an incurable disease that sneaks up on you, first caught by lurking around the vx forums. Its symptoms include wistfully lusting after bent pieces of metal (exhausts) and helplessly shelling out untold amounts of money in the vain hope that you'll cure your disease 'once I've got this mod done'.

Modifications Anonymous - 'Hello, my name is dw1, and I'm a modifyer.' The first stage of Acknowledgement, the long road to recovery to someone who attends MA meetings and will no doubt fall off the wagon several times on way.

Jack Sh1t - either the nauseating anticipation, or the vomit-inducing reality, of finding the car hasn't been jacked up via the correct jacking points. See 'Chassis Panic'.

Petrol Pump Pilates - contorting oneself into ludicrous positions to prevent the pump from scratching the bodywork.

Pseudonym Punch-up - a violent reaction, sometimes resulting in arrest, to the VX being called something disparaging to your face eg Tonka Toy.

Sill Septicaemia (colloq.: 'Don't scratch my sills') - the slow poisoning of one's blood caused by toxins released through the knawing and all-consuming self-regulation of one's mouth, prompted by social pressures, preventing one at all given opportunities advising (also known as 'ordering') passengers not to scratch one's sills.

Fall flat on your face, and get gravel up your nose, but don't scratch my sills.
No, leave your bags in the foot well whilst you get out of the car - you need to see your feet whilst you exit, so you don't scratch my sills.

VX Boot - storage compartment in VXs utilised mainly for passenger right arms. Failure to thus utilise the stowaway during flight may result in extreme cases of unintended elbowing, and subsequent extensive misunderstandings. Also see 'Seat Belt Shuffle'.

But you must fancy me - you kept rubbing elbows with me whilst changing gears.

Seat Belt Shuffle - a condition suffered by VX drivers carrying passengers, whereby they wonder whether to dive in quickly and fasten their seat belt - so as to avoid unwanted symptoms of 'VX Boot', or be polite and pretend to fiddle with something else whilst waiting for the relatively unknown passenger to fiddle for hours with theirs first.

Bonnet Handle Gamble - When some unsuspecting imposter tries to to open your bonnet, not knowing that they have a 50% chance (which invariably seems to be the one they take) to pull the bleeding thing off! More often than not followed by a case of owner swearing and "feet in the air."

The Tall Demise Device - The behind-head 'safety feature' that will more likely than not kill a driver over 6'2" or above in the event of a rear end shunt.

Boot Release Grease - The essential additive to the boot release mechanism that if neglected for over 6-months, results in the boot getting jammed shut. Often contributing to a "20 minute milkshake."

Spatula Stretch - Conducted on a VX with insufficient "Boot release grease." The process of stretching your arms wide enough with a wooden/plastic cooking spatula (Or similar wedging device) in the left* hand, providing a levering force on the boot, whilst operating the boot release handle with the right* hand. (* Hands inverted for LHD Opel Speedsters)

Beirut Bumper - The stonechipped affliction of all front bumpers not fitted with Paintshield. Caused by Cottage Cheese paint

Windscreen Woooaahhhh!!!!....The noise that eminates from the VX owners mouth when their passenger uses the windscreen surround in an attempt to lift themselves out of their seat

The Shop Window - Watching your reflection at every opportunity

"Its made by lotus" - The response to those who ask about it and don't understand the initial reply of "It's a Vauxhall"

Sun Visor Hand - holding up one's arm and utilising the hand as a sun ray blockage mechanism, in an attempt to stop El Sol from burning out one's retina

VX Aero - not related to aerodynamics of the old brick shape, but actually refers to the bubbly Nestle chocolate bar. As in "Oh no! My boot lids gone all Aero on me"

Vauxhall Pontius Pilot – the act of Vauxhall washing their hands of any responsibility. As in, "they’ve gone all Pontius on me with my VX Aero"

Compulsory cleaning syndrome - having to clean her every weekend even if she doesn't really need it.

Cabin Missile - the transformation of an otherwise unassuming inanimate object into deadly forehead seaking missile during Lead foot lift off

Lead foot lift off - the resulting action of firmly planting your right foot to the floor in first and second gear

The Mick Jagger. - Newbie VX owners who 5 minutes after buying the car turn into Mick Jagger and start Singing "I want to paint it Black"

The 'Arfur Daly. - Wide boy chancers who haven't got a clue what a VX is - but 'fink 'coz of the credit crunch they can buy a �3k 'minter to impress their M8's.

Inappropriately getting the horn - those moments when you turn into a junction in town and, whilst letting a lovely lady pedestrian cross the road, you offend her by accidentally getting the horn.

Grease Head - A case of 'Boot Lid Head' gone wrong; spreading copper grease over the owners hair

the VX roll. The only method remaining to passengers for exiting the wagon after experiencing such delights as windscreen whooooaaah from the driver and'don’t push there'. Twas really funny watching my missus exit ass first in the strange rolling manoeuvre

VX Vomit - the strange occurrence when you first go and try one. Realising you cant get out, there’s a brief struggle then the car vomits you out onto the pavement. Avoided by...
VX panic - First experience of a VX and realise you cant get out. Panic and buy it driving away immediately

6D6 - VX NA Fuel Gauge (A D6 is a geeky term for a 6 sided die)

eye roll effect- when someone asks "what’s the BHP?" and then fail to understand why their corsa/astra/volvo isn’t quicker.

the bad logic - when someone asks "can you fit in it?"

roof shrinkage - when someone says "wow that’s a small car" despite it being longer and wider than the car next to it. Names so because the lack of roof high makes people assume it is a match box.

Mirror OCD - when you keep checking the rear view mirror when you are parked up at lights in case someone rolls into you.

ooooooohhhhhshiiii...............errrrr......YEAH!.......phew! - the noises made when the back end steps out.

Diesel dissolution - when someone writes off their car and puts it down to diesel on the road (also see bad handling dissolution).

Arse brail - when you can read the surface of your road through the car- namely if you are on road paint, small stone, bottle cap etc.

Three point work out - the stress involved with doing a turn int he road manoeuvre.

O fcuk me gently - Coming up to a T junction and the ABS kicks in!

Seat Swimming- The motion you make when rolling up both windows at the same time in Tesco’s car park before you get out!

"right handed gear changing - inevitable in a right hand drive car after attempting parcel shelf roulette and actually getting your arm stuck in a novel albeit uncomfortable twisted position."

Twist and Drink: The action to get a bottle of anything out of the cup-holder! (Also the brand name of a drink conveniently)

Twist and Shake: The action undertaken with the right hand on the hand-brake with a 'Larger-than-should-be-allowed' passenger when sat in slow moving traffic! (This passenger often aggravates the chassis panic at every pothole and road hump).

Then there is the passer-by stare and clap as you manage to get a whole weeks shopping in or out of the boot!

Additionally I had a better version of the last one this weekend with my mates wedding as we took the VX and the MG up... All the other guests just stood and watched all the gear come out of the VX including 4 suits hung on the drivers-side "roof bar - clothes rail"

VXOCD – collating all the entries from this thread and putting them into one easy to read location, then getting serious grief of the wife as was supposed to be finishing off fitting the skirting boards. Not still messing on that bloody computer :blush:

:groupjump: :groupjump: :groupjump: :groupjump: :groupjump: :groupjump: :groupjump: :groupjump:

#15 p4cks


    Newbie abuser

  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 6,433 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Newcastle-ish

Posted 30 October 2009 - 09:53 AM

Courtesy of SteveA in >this< thread.

Tolerances: 'wiggle room'


#16 Casper



  • Pip
  • 163 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Wiltshire

Posted 24 March 2010 - 02:25 PM

Alarm roulette - the have I/haven't I dilemma when approaching your VX - can quickly turn to Alarm face

Alarm face - playing the game of alarm roulette and losing - normally in a very public place ie car park or petrol forecourt. Resulting in a smug 'yes its mine' grin being replaced with sheer, 'ground opening up' embarrassment as you realise that you had in fact set the alarm and everyone's now staring at you for all the wrong reasons.

Alarm bluff - as per roulette, but trying to avoid it turning into alarm face by giving the alarm a couple of tweaks as you approach in the hope that the 50/50 goes your way.


#17 Nev


    Nipper's Minion

  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,587 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Bristol
  • Interests:Rock climbing, skiing, kayaking, surfing, mountaineering, budgies, chess, practical mechanics.

Posted 18 April 2010 - 01:19 PM

Harness Adjustment Benefits - the womderful act of showing your female passengers how tight the harness must be around their chest and hips in order to be safe.

Harness Adjustment Slap - this is what you get if you are too over-zealous with the above!

Edited by Nev, 18 April 2010 - 01:21 PM.

#18 Denzle



  • Pip
  • 163 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Evesham Worcester.
  • Interests:My Motor Show at Hampton Ferry.

Posted 20 May 2011 - 11:01 AM

Try..... www.ukautotalk.com/abbreviation.htm

Edited by Denzle, 20 May 2011 - 11:14 AM.

#19 Casper



  • Pip
  • 163 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Wiltshire

Posted 27 May 2011 - 01:01 PM

One of the best threads on here in my view - had me laughing out loud in the office re-reading some of these Imnotworthy

#20 Mike (Cliffie)

Mike (Cliffie)

    Back in a VX

  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,353 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Surrey
  • Interests:Weaving weasels woolly hats.

Posted 15 August 2011 - 08:15 PM

Bump. Tickious, buy another VX!

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users