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#721 hairy

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Posted 20 January 2022 - 09:15 PM

Q . How do you get a fat bird into bed ?                          A . Piece of cake



#722 hairy

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Posted 24 January 2022 - 08:27 PM

I taught my dog to play the trumpet on the london underground. We went from Barking to tooting in half an hour!



#723 oblomov

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Posted 27 January 2022 - 08:43 PM

The artist formerly known as Meatloaf is now known as Brownbread.



#724 hairy

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Posted 31 January 2022 - 06:32 PM

After a giving a lot of serious thought to the matter, I've decided I'm going to give Dry January a go.



#725 hairy

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Posted 08 February 2022 - 06:05 PM

I just wrote a song about tortillas ... I say a song, but really it's more of a wrap.



#726 hairy

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Posted 11 February 2022 - 06:59 PM

Don't get too worried if you can't spell Armageddon ... it's not like it's the end of the world.



#727 hairy

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Posted 17 February 2022 - 04:42 PM

My favourite childhood memory is building sandcastles with my grandfather ... until my mum took the urn from me.



#728 hairy

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Posted 03 March 2022 - 04:59 PM

Where do russian soldiers go to the toilet?                                                                                                                          poo-tin



#729 Baron Von Scubadaddy

Baron Von Scubadaddy

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Posted 03 March 2022 - 07:58 PM

:D



#730 hairy

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Posted 13 March 2022 - 08:13 PM

Decided to put the car the missus and I use for dogging up on ebay. No bids yet but 15 people watching.



#731 hairy

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Posted 17 March 2022 - 08:50 PM

I am not normally one to boast, but my penis was in the latest edition of the Guinness book of records - the librarian immediately told me to take it out.



#732 hairy

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Posted 01 April 2022 - 02:08 PM

I walked past a beggar today and he said, "Any change, mate?” - I said, “No, I’ve still got a nice house and a VX220"



#733 hairy

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Posted 07 April 2022 - 04:56 PM

I just got back from the hospital. They reckon I might have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but it's hard to say.

#734 hairy

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Posted 13 April 2022 - 04:57 PM

Two Teddy bears eating pizza. One asks the other if they want another slice, "no thanks, i'm stuffed" was the reply.



#735 hairy

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Posted 04 May 2022 - 05:07 PM

Viagra will not make you Sean Connery, but it can make you Roger Moore.



#736 hairy

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Posted 08 May 2022 - 03:21 PM

A lion ate Spartacus's wife - he was gladiator.



#737 casino

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    Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.

Posted 14 May 2022 - 11:46 PM

My girlfriend got her final Dental Hygienist exam results yesterday. She said she scraped by. 


Edited by casino, 14 May 2022 - 11:47 PM.


#738 hairy

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Posted 17 May 2022 - 04:03 PM

In my next life, I'm coming back as a tablecloth - laid 3 times a day & pulled off as well!



#739 Ivor

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    and now bees

Posted 17 May 2022 - 04:42 PM

In my next life, I'm coming back as a tablecloth - laid 3 times a day & pulled off as well!

Note to self: don't come back as a table




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