Q . How do you get a fat bird into bed ? A . Piece of cake
One Liners :lol:
Started by
Nelly Vx
, Oct 09 2012 10:02 PM
738 replies to this topic
#721
hairy
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Posted 20 January 2022 - 09:15 PM
#722
hairy
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Moonlander
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- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 24 January 2022 - 08:27 PM
I taught my dog to play the trumpet on the london underground. We went from Barking to tooting in half an hour!
#723
oblomov
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Scary Internerd
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Posted 27 January 2022 - 08:43 PM
The artist formerly known as Meatloaf is now known as Brownbread.
#724
hairy
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Moonlander
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Posted 31 January 2022 - 06:32 PM
After a giving a lot of serious thought to the matter, I've decided I'm going to give Dry January a go.
#725
hairy
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Moonlander
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- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 08 February 2022 - 06:05 PM
I just wrote a song about tortillas ... I say a song, but really it's more of a wrap.
#726
hairy
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- 6,200 posts
Moonlander
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Posted 11 February 2022 - 06:59 PM
Don't get too worried if you can't spell Armageddon ... it's not like it's the end of the world.
#727
hairy
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Moonlander
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- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 17 February 2022 - 04:42 PM
My favourite childhood memory is building sandcastles with my grandfather ... until my mum took the urn from me.
#728
hairy
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Moonlander
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Posted 03 March 2022 - 04:59 PM
Where do russian soldiers go to the toilet? poo-tin
#729
Baron Von Scubadaddy
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- 6,656 posts
SC
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- Location:North London
- Interests:Girls, Cars,..... ! spending time asking questions about why my car won't work
Posted 03 March 2022 - 07:58 PM
#730
hairy
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- 6,200 posts
Moonlander
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- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 13 March 2022 - 08:13 PM
Decided to put the car the missus and I use for dogging up on ebay. No bids yet but 15 people watching.
#731
hairy
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Moonlander
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Posted 17 March 2022 - 08:50 PM
I am not normally one to boast, but my penis was in the latest edition of the Guinness book of records - the librarian immediately told me to take it out.
#732
hairy
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- 6,200 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 01 April 2022 - 02:08 PM
I walked past a beggar today and he said, "Any change, mate?” - I said, “No, I’ve still got a nice house and a VX220"
#733
hairy
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Moonlander
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- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 07 April 2022 - 04:56 PM
I just got back from the hospital. They reckon I might have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but it's hard to say.
#734
hairy
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Moonlander
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- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 13 April 2022 - 04:57 PM
Two Teddy bears eating pizza. One asks the other if they want another slice, "no thanks, i'm stuffed" was the reply.
#735
hairy
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Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 04 May 2022 - 05:07 PM
Viagra will not make you Sean Connery, but it can make you Roger Moore.
#736
hairy
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Moonlander
- Gender:Male
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- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 08 May 2022 - 03:21 PM
A lion ate Spartacus's wife - he was gladiator.
#737
casino
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- 5,100 posts
VerStrapOn lost the ‘21 drivers championship
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Interests:ADVERTISING. F1
Wrote and produced the VXT launch film.
Posted 14 May 2022 - 11:46 PM
My girlfriend got her final Dental Hygienist exam results yesterday. She said she scraped by.
Edited by casino, 14 May 2022 - 11:47 PM.
#738
hairy
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- 6,200 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 17 May 2022 - 04:03 PM
In my next life, I'm coming back as a tablecloth - laid 3 times a day & pulled off as well!
#739
Ivor
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Scary Internerd
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Interests:Sheep & Ducatis
and now bees
Posted 17 May 2022 - 04:42 PM
Note to self: don't come back as a tableIn my next life, I'm coming back as a tablecloth - laid 3 times a day & pulled off as well!
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