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My Life Is Never Dull

Started by Guest_AntB (Guest) , May 25 2005 10:27 AM

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86 replies to this topic

#81 Toski

Super Member

298 posts

Location:Watford - England

Posted 02 June 2005 - 12:35 PM

This is my first look at off topic chat since I joined up. Strange to see u blokes sharing this sorta thing with the rest of the forum. Not slating it or anything christ I would jump at the chance to talk about the past 7 months of mixed heaven and hell. Feel kinda weird about it tho. AntB... only thing I can add is that life and love and all that can be really really mixed up and crazy at times. Its best to just somehow cut your losses try not to think about it and move on. My issue in short... im 25 right and have been friends with the most gorgeous/sexy/intelligent/so-on 22 year old woman, for about 4 years (i mean really, this woman is something!!). Always been a spark with us. 7 months ago she split with her fiance. 2 months later got together with me. 2 months of a fantastic relationship, really really great for both if us before right out of the blue she says she cant give me 100% because she still thinks about her fiance. Fine one cant really argue with that can they... or get angry! She has the heart of an angel so nothing malicious. She is still single and I am 100% totaly in love with the girl. We are still friends but looks like nothing will ever happen with us again. Bitter pill to swallow and so confusing when two people had such a great time together... like whats the problem?! But there clearly is one so just have to accept it and focus on dealing with it. If Im honest, i do alright, ok very well with the opposite sex. But all I want is her! Whats my point... dont really know... but even when things seem right they can be wrong so just sort the head and move on!

Edited by Toski, 02 June 2005 - 12:37 PM.

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#82 CupidKnewRap

Billy No Mates

1,783 posts

Location:wherever work needs me to be

Posted 02 June 2005 - 01:10 PM

This is my first look at off topic chat since I joined up.
Strange to see u blokes sharing this sorta thing with the rest of the forum.

just a sign of how good this forum is

. Anywhere else i've been on the internet ridicule and idiocy would follow :9mm:

.

Tough one Toski.. unfortunatly seems a little clear cut

just have to learn to live without, although reading mine and Ants posts you'll realise it's not an easy thing to do

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#83 Toski

Super Member

298 posts

Location:Watford - England

Posted 02 June 2005 - 01:29 PM

I dont know so much about clear cut... I wonder if the book is closed for ever. She keeps her cards close to her chest. If it were clear cut then it would just be an issue of I like her but she does not like me. Thats far easier than always wondering like! However whatever she thinks about things I cant rush it or make something happen. So I just try not think about it and try say plenty fish in the sea and all that crap. But really.. I would do anything for this woman!

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#84 Guest_AntB (Guest)

Posted 02 June 2005 - 01:49 PM

she says she cant give me 100% because she still thinks about her fiance.

everybody, unless they are completely heartless still thinks about the loves of their lives (minor or major) maybe it's an age thing, she will realise one day that it's nothing to be worried about, just part of being a human (having a cognitive process- get her to read 'human, all too human' by friedrich nietzche, that'll clear things up for her! :blink:

).

if she still wants to be fcuked by him, that's a separate issue.

i don't regret any of the women i've slept with/ been out with, people drift in and out of your life each having an effect; some greater than others, just tell her to be happy that she can be pleased that she is left with a positive feeling about the guy, many other people are only left with feelings of hatred towards exes.

if it will happen it will happen, feelings can't be put into boxes (unfortunately for me). i had the exact same thing happen with my ex, who was also less experienced in the ways of the world than me, she still 'just thought' about her ex, jeez, that's nothing compared to what i've been thinking of doing with my ex(exexexex) since last week! :blink:

Edited by AntB, 02 June 2005 - 01:50 PM.

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#85 Guest_AntB (Guest)

Posted 02 June 2005 - 02:13 PM

I dont know so much about clear cut...
I wonder if the book is closed for ever. She keeps her cards close to her chest. If it were clear cut then it would just be an issue of I like her but she does not like me.

just how me and my last bird started, the trouble was not being able to keep our hands off each other, if we had, she could have sorted her sh1t out, i could have got through what i was going through without trying to compress the whole thing into the same timeframe, thereby exacerbating things (shaun of the dead: "means make things much worse"

) and missing out on the 'falling in love bit' and moving straight to the 'relationship' bit.

i reckon wait, if your are really meant to be, it'll work, don't fcuk it up by trying to squeeze too much stuff in!

my god this is therapeutic for me! :rolleyes:

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#86 Guest_AntB (Guest)

Posted 03 June 2005 - 11:26 AM

in the style of never EVER letting my thread die, here is the latest update.... spoke to the lady in question last night and gave her my edited version of the conclusion i had come to, she let me know that despite the fact her bloke hadn't said "IF YOU EVER SPEAK TO THAT CNUT AGAIN I'LL KILL YA!", he's not too keen on us having caught up, fair enough i say, why would he want his relationship messed up by someone he's never met? even though that bloke (me by the way) lives 120 miles away! they're currently working out whether or not they'll want to move in together next year, so it's a bit of a difficult time. i let her know that the idea of us ever going out together again is a very VERY unlikely event (about the same as intelligent life being found on reality tv) so if needs be i'd just call her in a year or so when things had calmed down, her bloke felt a bit happier (if they were still together) and we could catch up then, she said this wasn't necessary, we could stay in touch, but i should understand that this wasn't the most suitable time for her to be going out for daytrips in a VX with an ex-fiance. it would appear that most (probably all) all the events of our relationship and breakup are etched on her memory, as they are on mine and that our admissions from the last week about how much we did in fact love each other have come as a bolt from the blue and we've both had the "i wonder what would have happened if..." question running through our minds, although we both accept that we made the right decision at the time (to break up, whatever the circumstances). we've agreed that we're not going to chat on the phone for a while, until things with her bloke ease up, just catch up by email, i think that her speaking to me on the phone will REALLY try her bloke's patience, i am such a decent bloke aren't i? :rolleyes:

. email means that i can construct sentences that she can understand, get my point across without her either thinking i'm proposing marriage (again) or accidently slag her off!i can also send her examples of my work (which she wants to see); as she was always in love with the idea of going out/ being married to an architect and then the rest will sort itself out. so job's a goodun. thumbsup

think that's it, will just ressurrect the thread again next time my post- rate falls!

editted to say: my realisation came just at the right time as i really haven't got time to see her at the moment and the idea of having nothing to do for the forseeable month or so but just get pissed and socialise/ xbox/ ps2/ read books etc is just the most amazing thing in the world. this will give my head the time it needs to arrange some more thoughts into their proper place. life it seems, will be sweet!

Edited by AntB, 03 June 2005 - 11:40 AM.