684 replies to this topic

[hairy]

I was at the pool today and decided to have a sneaky wee in the deep end. The life guard must have noticed though... he blew his whistle so loud I nearly fell in.

[hairy]

Dear Agony Aunt: One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two... is this normal?

[hairy]

Following the tragic death of the human cannonball, a spokesman for the circus said... "We’ll struggle to get another man of the same calibre."

[hairy]

The thing I love most about this hot weather is the short skirts and low cut tops ... although, they do make me look a bit gay.

[SteveA]

[Midlife]

I made a mistake once, I thought I was wrong...

[hairy]

I took my Granddad to one of these spas where the little fish eat all of the dead skin. It cost £55, but it was a lot cheaper than a funeral.

[hairy]

My girlfriend wanted us to make love on the bonnet of her Honda Civic ... I told her, if I'm going to do that, it's going to be on my own Accord.

[hairy]

Gambling addiction hot lines could convince more gamblers to phone in if every tenth caller was a winner.

[Nev]

[hairy]

My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up mate, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

[Nev]

My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up mate, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

 

It must be a quiet day at work!  

[hairy]

My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up mate, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

  It must be a quiet day at work!  

Ok - how about this one: I asked my boss what to do with a 6m roll of bubbles rap ? He said "pop it in the corner". Four hours that took me!

[hairy]

It takes a lot of balls to play golf the way I do.

[hairy]

If a blind girl tells you that you're well-endowed ... she's probably pulling your leg.

[hairy]

Will glass coffins be sucessful? Remains to be seen.

[hairy]

I was walking past Old Trafford when I saw two tickets nailed to a fence. I thought: I'm having those! - a man can never have too many nails!

[hairy]

I thought my new girlfriend might be the one, but after looking through her wardrobe and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maid's outfit and a police woman's uniform, I finally decided... If she can't hold down a job, she's not for me.

[hairy]

My penis used to be in the Guinness Book of World Records...until the librarian told me to take it out.

[hairy]

It takes a lot of balls to play golf the way I do.